#girlsjustwannahavefun

I’ve known Rika for over a year and she’s not only a take-charge kind of woman, but is also one of the nicest most accommodating women I’ve ever met. Yes it’s confusing, but it’s what makes her so darn likeable. Ask for her opinion and she’ll have one. Put her in a corner and she’ll flatter her way out of it. She’s someone who I want on my business team and party bus. She passes the “would you want to sit next to this person on an airplane” test – because of her personality, but also because she’s not fat and I don’t like to share my seat with my neighbor when I fly (story for another day). Currently she’s juggling running a women’s organization, getting her master’s degree, figuring out her future post b-school, and traveling almost every weekend for weddings.

Recently she planned a bachelorette party.. Traditionally the maid of honor takes charge to plan the events leading to the wedding, but the consensus of the group was that Rika should be the one to plan the whole trip. Her friends knew that when she plans, she’s in her element. She gets it “from her mama” who Rika watched meticulously plan all family trips growing up. Rika felt really excited to take the lead to plan the bachelorette party. She recruited 2 other bridesmaids to help with some of the logistics, and another bridesmaid to provide a credit card to charge expenses.

The first step in planning the trip was deciding on a location. Rika used the internet to find lists of top cities to visit, and sent emails to the group with varying location options and pros/cons of each. She felt proud of the clear and efficient way she communicated to the other bridesmaids. However, the email chain got messy very quickly. Everyone had an opinion, yet nobody wanted to put a stake in the ground. After 5 months of going back and forth over email, Rika was very frustrated. Determining location was the starting point of planning and nothing could move forward without it. With costs rising for flights and hotels at every delay, Rika asked the bride to make a decision on location out of 3 options. She knew that if the bride chose the location all the bridesmaids would go along with it. The bride chose Puerto Rico. Although Puerto Rico was the most expensive option, Rika felt relieved to have a location, and also another surge of excitement came over her to make it all happen. It was go-time, and she was armed with a massive Google doc to keep all the details straight.

Fortunately the dates of Aug 22^nd – 25^th to take the trip came together fairly easily, so the next big step was buying tickets. Most bridesmaids were traveling from inside of Texas, but from different cities including Austin, Houston, and Dallas. They all wanted to all meet at the same airport and fly together with the bride to make it a celebration from beginning to end. The bridesmaids had no interest in researching flight options, and asked Rika to just “let them know the flight numbers” to purchase once she figured it out. Although it was a huge undertaking to find flights for all 8 girls, Rika knew she could do it. Rika used Expedia, Bing Travel, and her mom’s guidance to find flight options for all the bridesmaids and bride. She used her Google doc to weigh the options and see how the different variables influenced price.

Finally Rika had flights figured out perfectly, and the ticket prices were the lowest they had been. Rika sent the group all the information needed to book flights, and urged them to quickly buy due to price and availability. Rika bought her ticket, forwarded her confirmation email to the other bridesmaids, and felt extreme relief once again that another part of the trip was decided. 

One week later, Rika started to worry since she hadn’t heard back from any of the bridesmaids confirming that their flights were purchased. She emailed the group and found that most girls still hadn’t booked, and that two of the bridesmaids decided to move the date of the trip since prices had increased for the original weekend of the trip. Rika was PISSED. Not only had these girls moved the trip date without even thinking to inform her, but now Rika also had to change her flight and pay a $200 change fee. Needless to say, the other bridesmaids didn’t care. There was no thank you for Rika’s previous work, or apology for the inconvenience. These girls were Rika’s friends, but at that time Rika felt extremely unappreciated and even like an outsider. She started to feel as-if she overstepped or got too aggressive with timing when maybe everyone wasn’t on the same page. Ultimately she bit her tongue and changed her flight.

After the flight debacle, Rika decided she would not make any purchases unless she had the consensus of the group. Location and flights were planned, so the next order of business was deciding on the hotel. Luckily in the 5 months that the girls had been going back and forth about location, Rika had been researching hotels for 3 rooms 3 nights. Google and Trip Advisor were trusted sources that she used to find a hotel with a high peer ranking. She had found the Hilton in El San Juan for a great price and presented it to the group. The second she got consensus she booked it. Rika felt energized that things were moving along and the trip was getting close!

Planning the activities and elements for the actual Bachelorette party for Puerto Rico started out fun, but was mostly frustrating for Rika. First, she spent a couple weeks working to get the best price on t-shirts and emailed the group when she had a great offer from a vendor. To her dismay, another bridesmaid had already purchased t-shirts from another vendor and hadn’t told anyone. Rika brushed it off, and was just thankful that she was checking everything via email before making any moves! She thought of the clever design and realized that she actually didn’t mind another bridesmaid doing the work of ordering.

At this point in the planning, Rika felt that she should let things go. She felt disheartened because she had put a lot of energy into planning this trip, but couldn’t shake the feeling that her work was unappreciated and the bridesmaids were going rogue with their own plans.  She decided to spend more of her energy planning games and activities for Puerto Rico. Putting her attention toward this part of the trip was exactly what Rica needed. It brought everything back into perspective of why they were going to Puerto Rico – to celebrate a best friend getting married!

Although Rika relaxed on the planning and forcing decisions, she never let go of being organized. She was religious about updating the massive Google doc, and encouraged everyone to edit. The email chain from several months was hard to follow and the 7 tab Google doc was the best way to organize the information.  There was a tab for everything including meals, restaurants, clubs, schedule, and flight info.  She also set up a Splitwise account that would track charges on the trip credit card, and provide an accurate account of what everyone owed at the end of the trip.

Finally it was time to go to Puerto Rico! The bridesmaids all flew out of Houston and since it was their first time together in a long time – the energy was running high!  The flight to Puerto Rico turned into a party complete with flight attendants taking shots, and the music blaring from their seats. Everyone was having such a great time and Rika finally felt stress free.

To Rika’s surprise and delight, another bridesmaid took control of the trip as soon as they hit Puerto Rico. She was surprised at her relief to not have to worry about the schedule of events, and logistics while there. She could sit back and enjoy. The consensus of the group was that the bride should have all expenses paid for, so although Rika was having fun, she was also amazed at the bill that was racking up on Splitwise for the brides expenses. Rika also felt validated that all the pre-planning had paid off. The group had an itinerary by day for all meals and activities that helped maximized the time they spent on the trip. 

Overall Rika had a great time on the trip and was thrilled to plan such a big event for her best friends. However, she learned that she would never again take sole responsibility to plan a trip for such a large group. If she could do it over, she’d be better at delegating and be upfront about who would take ownership over each part of trip. She also learned that although they were able to accurately track expenses, the app used made the expenses seem inexistent and they all ended up overspending. She still likes to plan and there’s no doubt that she’s exceptional at it, but now she knows she enjoys it more on a smaller scale.

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